Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
