I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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