She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
