I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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