i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
