oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize