How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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