So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
