I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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