shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
