Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
