ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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