Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
