Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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