Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
