So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
