Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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