I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
