Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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