oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
