Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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