the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
