Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize