is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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