I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just forgot I was standing up.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
