just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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