Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Randomize
