just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
