It's like God shit irony all over that family
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
