none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
tell me about the eggs
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
