The maid of honor just puked.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
