The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
