Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He shit in the fireplace
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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