Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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