You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
