'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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