You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Pants are for mortals
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
