If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
