Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
