I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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