One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
