allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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