i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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