Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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