Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
