you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
