I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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