a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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