hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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