dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize