dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
