It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
