Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
