he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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