just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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