He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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