what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
