I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
