its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize