So drunk, too bad you don't want this
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize