I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Mom said you looked used
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
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I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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