Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
