how hairy? two words: wookie tits
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We have started to decorate penises.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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