Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
