she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
