Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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