If that was your dad, he is hot
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
