Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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