so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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