Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
