i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
