I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
