And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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