there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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