MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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