the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
