Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
