Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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