There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
