i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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