after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
