whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
